dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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