I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i need some magic done to my vagina
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