Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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