Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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