I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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