I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
