They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
