There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
