she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
