chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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