look no pants
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
