Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
