i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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