so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
