you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No subtext here. People are naked.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
