I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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