Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
