hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
