WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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