Say something about gay babies.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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