Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
