Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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