I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
