Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
