Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
