This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
