If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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