I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
