sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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