naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
