She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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