My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
