I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
