I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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