I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
