Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drake has all the answers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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