I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
