direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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