haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I want her autograph on my taint
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
