I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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