i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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