she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I looked at my own cervix.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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