Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
