what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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