Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
