By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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