And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
