sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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