i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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