Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If I die, sorry about rent.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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