I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
